Should I have sex or not? It is important to first define what “sex” really is. Sex can be defined as sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, sexual touching, and anything else that causes sexual arousal. It’s also important to know what sex does to your brain and body. Deciding whether or not to have sex is so much more than just worrying about STI testing or a positive pregnancy test.

Our brains are designed to want to be close to someone. It might start out as a crush. Then the excitement of knowing your crush feels the same way. Then before you know it, you and your significant other are alone, and sex is on the brain.

First, it’s natural. Our brains are wired to want to have sex, just like our brains are wired to protect ourselves from any threat. You can touch a hot burner on a stove, but it will damage your hand. Sex is the same. Just because you CAN have sex, doesn’t mean you should.

Most people are not taught how sex affects the brain. Mostly because the research can seem boring. But it is important to understand how our brains work. When you do something, your brain makes a new path. This could be anything, like learning to ride a bike or driving a car. This is how habits and addictions are formed. It is also how we learn things: like math, playing an instrument, or how to read.

It’s the same with sex. Each encounter makes a new path, and it becomes easier to go down that path with every relationship. The butterflies you get when you hold hands or kiss for the first time, become less noticeable the more you touch. The brain wants more and without clear boundaries, sex is going to happen.

Each time you have sex, you become attached. A part of you is left with that other person. When that relationship ends and you move on to a new one, you become less and less attached to each person. It’s like a piece of tape. The more you take it off and retape, the less sticky it gets.

Humans have a natural ability to have meaningful and lasting relationships with others. Whether we realize it or not, sex creates a bond. When a relationship ends, that ability to bond is damaged. This damage sends a message to the brain that we don’t need to bond with others.

When the brain has learned to stop the bonding process, that carries over into other relationships like with families and friends. Relationships begin to suffer and so does mental health. Often times, having sex leads to depression in young adults.

There is also the concern for physical health. Sexually transmitted infections or diseases are on the rise. Having sex also means the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy in addition to STIs. The only way to be 100% sure that you won’t get an STI or find yourself pregnant is by choosing to abstain from sexual activity.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your life, you deserve to know how your body and brain work. You also deserve a safe and confidential place to ask questions and feel valued.

If you’ve had a sexual experience and you’re concerned about being pregnant and/or contracting an STI, Alcove Health has free and confidential services to provide the medical services and support you deserve. The team of women here at Alcove Health are here to give you a space to be heard and truly empowered. We provide FREE pregnancy and STI testing, options consultations, and ultrasounds. We would love to hear from you! Call or click here today to request your free appointment.