“He doesn’t treat me well; I think I have an abusive boyfriend. Although I have a hard time with how he acts, I have not been able to bring myself to leave him. The abuse is often name calling or telling me how worthless I am. One time, he told me nobody else would want me because I am damaged goods.” Adding a positive pregnancy test to an abusive boyfriend makes it especially hard.

I have heard this from clients, and I have even endured this myself. I remember those exact feelings. I felt as if I had done something wrong; I wanted to fix me so he would be happy. I was always seeking a way to make the relationship better, always trying to do something so that my abusive boyfriend would treat me differently.

I was wrong. I was not the problem. He was.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The day before I found out I was pregnant, my abusive boyfriend punched a hole in the windshield of my truck. I remember thinking I really provoked him; I should do better. His friends loved him, his co-workers loved him, my friends loved him.

I remember the comments that made me believe it was all me: “He is so sweet; you are a lucky girl.” But eventually my abusive boyfriend moved from verbal abuse to physical abuse.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was just 19. It became more urgent for me to change, and I was always looking for ways to not make my abusive boyfriend angry. 

I should have left. I should have reached out for help. 

I visited a clinic that did pregnancy tests and ultrasounds very much like Alcove Health. I was young, scared, and felt very alone. I confided in the woman that gave me the results of my pregnancy test. She said one thing that I have carried with me for many years. “Do not make a permanent decision during a temporary season of your life.”

I stayed in the relationship with my abusive boyfriend far too long, but I am thankful that I slowed down and got the information that I needed about my pregnancy before making a lifelong decision.

If you are unsure about what decision you want to make about your pregnancy, you can make an appointment with Alcove Health.

Here at Alcove Health, you will receive excellent care and it is a safe place to be heard by caring staff. You will meet with a trained client advocate who will listen, share resources, and review your options. You will also meet with a Registered Nurse to gain accurate medical information and an ultrasound. All these services are at no cost to you.

It is not always easy to leave an abusive boyfriend; sometimes people make it seem as if a victim is exaggerating their situation because they have not left the abuser. There are many reasons why a victim may not leave their abusive boyfriend: financial, fear of consequences, and/or a lack of support. Whatever your situation is, there is help.

There are several links below that can help you if you need help leaving your abusive boyfriend.

Your safety is first. Before you can make any decisions about the future of a pregnancy, it is vital that you get somewhere safe. If you are not in a safe place, please check these links for immediate help and longer-term help:

Transitions Family Violence Services (transitionsfvs.org) – Call HERE for their 24 Hour Hotline. Transitions Family Violence Services offers referral services, emergency sheltering, transitional sheltering, children’s programs, counseling services, support groups, and community and employment education.

Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) – Call HERE for their 24-Hour Hotline.

Samaritan House (samaritanhouseva.org) – Call HERE for their 24 Hour Hotline. They offer housing and services for individuals, children, and families experiencing domestic violence. A team of trained professionals works with each client to provide individualized support and advocacy to break the cycle of abuse.

Here at Alcove Health, the safety of your living situation is important. It’s also important for you to have a safe place to process your pregnancy. We can help with that. With free services like pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, STI testing, and options consultations, you can get accurate medical information and find a calm place to breathe and consider all your options.

First find a place that’s safely away from your abusive boyfriend, then call us or click here to schedule your free and confidential medical appointment.