help - she's pregnant!

She may not even be voicing these questions, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t thinking about them.

What She Wants to Know

Of all the questions, though, the one I hear most often from women is:

“How does he really feel about all of this?”

Through all my years walking alongside women facing unplanned pregnancies, this is the question she ponders most — because it’s the question she most often can’t answer.

And herein is the biggest dilemma:
She has feelings. You have feelings. But you may not be communicating them clearly with one another.

Get Information. Be Honest.

So, my one recommendation to any man in this position:
Get all the information you need (with her) to understand all the options.

Then, if she asks you what you think, tell her.

So often, “your body, your choice” is an engrained response. So much that, even when she asks for honest input, men often don’t feel like they have the freedom to be honest.

That’s why the most common statement we hear from men is:

“I’ll support her no matter what.”

You may have said this yourself — and you probably thought it was a noble response. But, while it sounds supportive, many women say it feels different.

This response makes her feel like all the pressure is on her to decide, alone.

Yes, she’s pregnant, and you may be physically there with her, but your silence – even if you are saying “supportive statements” – carries a weight of its own.

Your silence likely feels like loneliness to her.

What You Can Do

We’re here to help with that. Ask her if she’d like an appointment with us here at Alcove Health, and then offer to come with her. Be willing to be involved. Hear what she hears. Ask questions together. The “after” of your relationship may pivot on this one decision – and your honesty about your feelings.

Don’t assume you know all you need to know. Likely, you don’t.

And pressuring her to do something you don’t fully understand may get the immediate result you want, but the repercussions may be far heavier than you are even imagining.

You can handle the truth; so can she. Especially if you work through this together.

It’s a Lot – For Both of You

Often, men assume that because she’s pregnant, she must understand all her options well. That’s not necessarily true, either.

Most of us don’t think about unplanned pregnancies until we’re looking at a positive test wondering what we’re going to do next.

It’s a lot, isn’t it? For men and women.

So, Encourage Her to Reach Out

Let her know our services include:

• Lab-grade pregnancy tests
• Ultrasounds
• Options consultations
• STI testing