Are you in the process of choosing and OB/GYN? Check out these 8 questions that will help you get it...
Read MoreSame Day Appointments Available
Same Day Appointments Available
Same Day Appointments Available
Same Day Appointments Available
Looking at a positive pregnancy test, running down the list of possible options, you may think of adoption and wonder, Why would I give my baby away? Why, indeed, would anyone consider placing a child for adoption rather than choosing abortion?
There are a variety of reasons why birth moms choose to create an adoption plan:
“I wouldn’t want to get attached and then give my baby away”
One beautiful aspect of open adoption is the ability to maintain a relationship between birth mom and child. With an open adoption plan, the birth mom and adoptive parents can work out a plan for staying connected.
According to LifeTime Adoption, open adoption can look a lot of different ways: from speaking on the phone with the adoptive parents, to meeting with the adoptive parents, to ongoing letters, photos, phone calls, or visits after adoption. The amount of contact is decided between the birth parents and the adoptive parents.
“But what if I change my mind and decide I don’t want to give my baby away?”
According to Adoption Network:
“If at any point in the pregnancy you feel you should parent the child instead of the adoptive parents, yes, you have the right to change your mind. Also, if you feel unsure about the adoptive parent or parents, you may raise your concerns with your adoption professional, to decide whether or not this is the right home for your child.”
And according to Adoption Choice Inc, “Following a legal court hearing, birth parents are unable to change their mind, but until then, depending on the state where the adoption is taking place, birth mothers and birth fathers can – and have the right – to change their minds.”
“How do I know they will be good parents?”
The process of approval for adoptive parents is a long and arduous one that requires a great deal of time. While free for the birth mother, the adoption process is a financial investment for the adoptive parents. Additionally adoptive parents must receive home visits from social workers, undergo background checks, and complete extensive training all at their own expense.
Additionally, when creating an adoption plan, the birth mom can choose a multitude of criteria to ensure her child is being raised in an environment that is compatible with her own wishes. For example, a birth mom can choose a family that would have siblings or no siblings, is of a specific ethnicity, practices a particular faith or no faith at all, has pets or doesn’t.
Though the reasons for choosing an adoption plan can be varied, the ultimate decision is truly a selfless and loving one. Many women facing an unplanned pregnancy will more readily consider terminating the pregnancy than they will consider making an adoption plan. Some resist the adoption option stating they “don’t want to get attached” and then have to be separated from their baby while others worry about changing their minds and disappointing adoptive parents. But there are some birth moms who determine to seek the best for their baby no matter the personal cost.
One more thing about adoption. The phrase, “give my baby away,” is an injustice to the birth parents and the adoptive parents. It makes adoption sound casual and uncaring. Adoption – on the side of both sets of parents – is just the opposite. Adoption expands the circle of love, support, and commitment one child will receive.
If you feel like adoption is not a good option because you are beating yourself up, wondering, “How can I just give my baby away?” let me encourage you that the language you are using about adoption is inaccurate. Maybe you feel less about adoption because the language in your head robs adoption of its true value.
If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, or a planned pregnancy with unexpected circumstances, Alcove Health Women’s Clinic can help you process your pregnancy and understand your options. We are not an adoption agency, but we can connect you with an agency if you would like to consider adoption.
But first, get the advocacy and medical services you need to understand what’s going on inside your body. All our services (pregnancy test, ultrasounds, STI testing) are free and confidential. Call or click here to schedule your appointment with Alcove Health today.
Are you in the process of choosing and OB/GYN? Check out these 8 questions that will help you get it...
Read More
What should you avoid during pregnancy? Check out these 5 important things to skip for a healthier pregnancy and baby.
Read More
Have you changed your mind after taking the first abortion pill? Learn if abortion pill reversal is an option and...
Read More
"Who should I tell first after a positive pregnancy test?" Learn how to choose a trusted support person and what...
Read More