Here in Alcove Health Women’s Clinic, Virginia law allows us to serve minors with or without parental permission. So, we hear the concerns minors have about their unplanned pregnancies. At the top of that list? Their parents. So, if you’re looking at a positive pregnancy test and thinking, “I know my parents want an abortion; they’re never going to support this pregnancy,” first, know you’re not alone.

That’s right, even adult women have this concern. Family voices and connections are loud and persuasive – often for minors and adult women.

If you are a minor who lives with your parents though, the weight of your parents’ expectations may feel especially heavy. Most likely, you: live in their home, eat their food, and rely on them for almost everything.

But before you make a pregnancy decision based on how you expect your parents to react, there are a few things to consider.

First, the way you expect your parents to respond may not be how they actually respond to your news. You may think your parents want an abortion for you, and they may have even said that’s what they’d expect you to do if you got pregnant. That still doesn’t mean that’s how they will react when facing the reality of your pregnancy. Their response may surprise you.

Second, even if your parents initially respond exactly the way you expect, know that often parents’ first responses are not their lasting responses. Sometimes young women walk into our clinic certain their parents want an abortion for them. But, after discussing the pregnancy with the parents, they find their parents are supportive of the pregnancy.

This is a good time to remember your own reaction when you saw the positive pregnancy test. You were probably shocked. Maybe even angry. There could’ve been tears. Allow your parents the space to have a shocked response, too.

But it doesn’t mean they will always feel the same way they feel at first. Their final response may be different.

How do I know? I’m a parent, too. I have ideas about the best ways for my daughters. So, I urge them to do certain things: finish school, wait to get pregnant until they’re married, pick good friends – the list goes on.

Why? Because I want the best for them. But the road they travel may not be that straight; so, when reality gives us a road that takes an unexpected turn, I still want them to know I support them. That’s what parents do.  

There is a final option for how your parents may respond – they may strongly want you to abort. If your parents want an abortion and try to force you to have one, know that coercing someone to have an abortion is not only wrong; it’s illegal.

Forcing any woman, including a minor, to have an abortion, is illegal in all 50 states. If you are pregnant and your parents want an abortion so strongly that you are feeling pressured to have an abortion, call or email here.