Not every girl dreams about being a mom. I didn’t. I never thought about having kids. But there I was, 19 and pregnant. Even before I saw the lines on the pregnancy test, I found myself saying, “I just don’t want to be a mom.”  I was still hanging out with friends, going to clubs, doing whatever it was that I wanted. A baby was not in my plans.

I didn’t feel connected to this baby at all. Everyone kept telling me that as soon as the baby came I would feel different. But after she came, I didn’t feel any different. Instead, I felt like something was wrong with me.

A year and a half later, I found out I was pregnant again! I thought that maybe this time I would feel different. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to be a mom, again. I felt guilty and depressed. One day after my 2^nd daughter was born, I went to the park with my girls and met another mom. I told her that I felt like I was a bad person because I didn’t feel the way the other moms did. I didn’t think she would understand what I was going through. She admitted she used to feel the same way.

It was the first time I heard someone else admit she initially didn’t want to be a mom, either. It was the first time I didn’t feel alone.

Not everyone has a natural maternal instinct. I sure didn’t. It took a while, but I did learn how to bond with my girls. It’s been 23 years since my first daughter was born. It wasn’t easy but I learned how to be a mom and, with the help and support of others, my girls grew up feeling safe and loved.

I’m so glad I chose to have my girls. I’m so happy to get to be their mom. I’m so happy that I have gotten to see them grow into the young women they are now. Even though it started out rough, we pushed through and I’m so glad we did.

Maybe you’re feeling like I did. Maybe you don’t want to be a mom. Maybe you never really thought about having kids and now you just found out you’re pregnant. I am here to tell you that you don’t have to do this alone. No matter what you might be going through or how you are feeling, at Alcove Health we are here for you.

It’s totally normal that a positive pregnancy test has your mind spinning and you just want the pregnancy gone. But trust me, it helps so much to just give yourself a moment to breathe and gather the information you need. Even if you know you don’t want to be a mom and you plan to have an abortion, you still need to get information first.

At Alcove Health, we offer support to every woman who comes through our doors. There is no judgment here.

If you know you don’t want to be a mom, we are a safe and confidential space to process your feelings about your pregnancy and to consider your options – including abortion and adoption. We also offer lab-grade pregnancy tests and ultrasounds that can determine if you even need an abortion. And ALL our services are completely FREE to you!

At Alcove Health in Newport News, we also offer free parenting classes, baby items, hundreds of community resources, and a connection to other moms that might be going through the same thing you are!

The bottom line is this: we see you, we hear you, and we want to help. Whatever final choice you make, you owe it to yourself to make the best next decision, and that’s Alcove Health, where all our services are free and confidential. Call or click here today to request your appointment.