Hook Up Culture and It’s Cost

The hookup culture and its cost
The hookup culture and its cost

Hook-Up Culture & It's Cost

Take the time to genuinely like who you are and guard your worth.

The Culture

The hook-up culture has become quite common these days. Some may say, “It’s what everyone does!” Easier than having a relationship – friends with benefits, no commitment, no worries about cheating, have fun, and move on. Sure, it seems harmless. It may appear to be a hassle-free arrangement, but have you thought about the long-term, or sometimes even short-term effects of a hook-up? Is this what you really want?  Let’s talk honestly about some things to consider:

The Cost

Pregnancy is always a possibility even though you may have used a condom or birth control. Consider this…would you want to have a baby with this person? Another major consideration is the risk of STI/STD’s (sexually transmitted infection/sexually transmitted disease).  The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports there are nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections that occur every year – adolescents age 15-24 being the highest impacted by STDs. Consider how contracting an STD may impact your health and your future relationships. As far as STDs go, “Consistent and correct use of male latex condoms can reduce (though not eliminate) the risk of STD transmission.” Keywords: consistent and correct use. We all hear of stories where a condom comes off or rips. That’s why Alcove Health offers free STI/STD testing when women come for their free pregnancy tests; both are a possible result from a hook up.

The Chemicals

Every human brain-no matter who you are, where you live, or what your circumstances may be-reacts when you have sex, or any other intimate encounter with another person.  When this happens, your brain releases a chemical called oxytocin, also known as the “hug hormone.”  The rush of these bonding chemicals released during sex is designed to help you create a cemented memory, trust, and stay loyal to the person to whom you are giving yourself. That’s beneficial in a long-term relationship where you’re both committed to making it last. In a hook-up, you set the rush of chemicals in motion and then you tell it to stop. Not an easy road for your heart to follow. “In fact, research indicates that it can foster negative emotions in the long run. Many who’d had uncommitted sex reported experiencing regret after an encounter and found that men and women who had engaged in casual sex had lower self-esteem and depression symptoms. The cost of a hook-up may be more than you desired.

Be Courageous

Think seriously about deleting that Tinder App and stop trying to prove something to yourself and others.  Take the time to genuinely like who you are and guard your worth.  You know yourself better than anyone! When caught up in “the moment,” it’s easy to forget how we may feel later. And yes, it is hard to slow down in “the moment”; but take time to evaluate if such a lifestyle is beneficial in helping you to become the person you want to be. Is it helping you reach your goals and move you forward into the future you always dreamed of? Is the risk of an unplanned pregnancy or an unwanted STD worth the moment”?

Get Care

Alcove Health Women’s Clinic is here for you if you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy and need a safe place to process and learn all of your options.  You deserve medically- evidenced information to make the best decision for your reproductive health. All for free and with total confidentiality.  Get Help-Find Hope-Be Truly Empowered!  Call us today at 757-591-8141 or schedule an appointment online.

By Stephanie, Client Advocate

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Let’s Talk About Sex

Young couple in bed having sex
Young couple in bed having sex

Let's Talk About Sex

It's Everywhere, Right?

We see it on TV, in magazines, there are even apps for it like Tinder and CasualX. So it’s what everyone does right?

Question. So if we all say “Yes” to sex before marriage does all the guilt, disappointment, diseases, and pregnancies that come with it, disappear? Nope!

So how does sex make YOU feel? Used? Confused? Angry? Lonely?

There is nothing wrong with you! Yes, there may be times you actually enjoy it but does it last? Does he last (erm, not just in the moment but long term)? MANY women feel like you, yet most are not honest, not even their friends.

A pep talk . . . As women, we want to feel cared for, loved, and accepted for us being us. Yet let’s be real, most guys just want sex. Not you, but “her”. There I said it.

Biology Lesson 101: Men are made to have a strong sex drive and yes, they think about it A LOT! But news flash – they don’t have to have sex with you because they want it, you have a choice.

You want a relationship, I know, yet sex happens. Phone calls stop, the conversation stops and before you know it, every time you are alone together, things go from zero to sex. Then the inevitable happens. You guys break up. Then you meet someone else and it happens all over again, he meets someone else and it happens all over again . . . see the pattern? Do you want to get off that hamster wheel?

You can.

Girls and Guys have conflicting goals. Ever heard that saying, “Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love”? It’s true in most cases. Men come and go, but you are stuck with you. Who you are on the inside, your character, self-respect, hopes, and dreams; they all make you, YOU.

When you know who you are, then how you feel about yourself doesn’t depend on the guy you’re with. If you have had many partners, YOU CAN STILL START OVER!

That’s the Good News. Oh but wait, there’s more . . . YOUR FUTURE IS FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD.

You CAN commit to saving yourself for that “special” someone, even marriage. How? I hear you ask, and who does that nowadays, isn’t that old fashioned? Nope. Just Say No to sex and say Yes to:

1. Recognizing that everyone in life makes mistakes, the mature person learns from those mistakes. You can change. Your heart can become whole again.

2. Freedom from unwanted pregnancies and STDs. If you’re having sex and think you may be pregnant, please contact Alcove Health Women’s Clinic for your free pregnancy test – we’ll also offer free STI/STD testing at the same time!

3. Figure out what makes YOU feel good, things that make you proud.

4. Understand that only you control your body. You owe no guy anything because he took you out. You are worth taking out simply because of who you are on the inside and not what you have to offer. Don’t be surprised if he calls you again to ask you back out – Guys like women who respect themselves and have a voice. Do it, girl! I got your back!

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and need help now, click here.

By Shantelle, Clinic Director

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The Pullout Method

A shocked young woman staring at a pregnancy test because she didn't think she could get pregnant using the pullout method as a form of birth control
A shocked young woman staring at a pregnancy test because she didn't think she could get pregnant using the pullout method as a form of birth control

The Pullout Method

1 in every 5 women get pregnant using the pullout method.​

Would you do something if you knew you had a 1 in 5 chance of dying? Well, 1 in every 5 women get pregnant using the pull-out method and when you get those 2 lines on your free pregnancy test, you may feel like your life is over!

Using the “pull out method” as a means of birth control requires a lot of self-control, and is not particularly effective. The precum fluid could contain sperm and the “pullout” has to be timed perfectly; which in the heat of the moment is not always the first thing on either of your minds.

The pull-out method also does not protect either of you from sexually transmitted diseases.

The “long” and the “short” of it girls is that it is YOUR responsibility to make sure YOU don’t get pregnant, or anything else. Girl, I know you want to please him, BUT it’s YOUR body, YOUR choice so it’s okay to say NO!

Facing an unplanned pregnancy? Click here to make a no-cost appointment today.

By Kinta, RN, BSN

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